Neobushi’s Self Improvement Challenge: Get Connected in the Club Scene

February 13, 2014 Leave a comment

Here is a repost of my Return of Kings article at:

http://www.returnofkings.com/36489/how-to-get-connected-in-the-club-scene

NeoBushi’s Self Improvement Challenge: Get Connected in the Club Scene

I have met a lot of guys over the years that experience “club burnout”. They no longer have a desire to go to the high end dance clubs because they feel it is expensive, too loud, they don’t score the girls they would like to, and they don’t have very much fun. Even in the manosphere and self-development community you will find leaders coming up with elaborate excuses, one author in particular even concluded that “Clubs are the worst places to get laid”. I believe these are the symptoms of a lack of proper club game and a lack of the structure and process that should guide you in any pursuit. With this article I will show you how to optimize your club experience and have more fun, meet promoters, expand your social circles, and pull more quality girls. But let me start with my red pill story:

When I was around 24 I had one event that put me on the path to learning game and swallowing the red pill. I was a single guy in Miami attacking the nightlife on weekends, making friends, and approaching women. I was excited by the atmosphere and short skirts. I had prepared myself by getting into sick shape and dressing well. One night I met 2 sisters from the Midwest vacationing for the week. One of them was a solid 9 with a tight one-piece and the trashy ankle tattoo to boot. I thought if I played my cards right, she would be on my dick just like she was on my cousin’s the night before. She was a slut and everyone knew it, but I had no game plan because all my programming up to that point was to put women on a pedestal. I thought if I took her to and her sister to some great spots that I would win her approval. I already had it, but I was too hesitant to act. So I invited them and a few friends for a night on the town. I drove my group to the best clubs in Miami. At the Fontaine Blu bar I isolated her for a few minutes and she told me how good looking and in shape I was, she even hinted that we should hangout by her nice hotel that night. I didn’t act. Instead I took everyone to the club. It was a loud crowded place in South Beach called Mansion. We hung out, the girls loved it. “What do I do now?” I thought. I guess I’ll walk around with my buds. Minutes later a bald-shaven guy dressed in an opened collared-shirt with wing decals grabs her on the dance-floor. She is reluctant to dance but she submits. He is with his buddies at a table getting bottle service. They are friendly and motion our group over for a few drinks. Meanwhile, the bald guy is getting more aggressive, she pushes back with a smile, but he gets even more aggressive. Within a few minutes he is lifting her up and pinning her against the wall. She starts to love it. They are now in full embrace with her legs around him making out. He takes her over to the table and she straddles him and begins gyrating and unzipping his pants. I was disgusted by the sight, I couldn’t believe a girl despite being an established slut would respond to this. Wasn’t I the taller, better-looking, and better-dressed guy that she had already built rapport with? Shouldn’t I get the girl? I drove home at the end of the night fighting back tears knowing that someone who I thought was lesser than me was banging my 9 and not me. I knew something had to change, that’s when I Googled “dating and women” and discovered Game with a capital “G”.

I am now 30…

As I write this I am reminiscing on a Sunday afternoon about yesterday night. I pulled up to my favorite club in the MPD (a trendy area of NYC) and met my promoter friend outside. I typically hit the same spot every weekend because I have scored 6 for 6 at this spot the past 6 weekends with minimal effort (but tight game). This is a huge change from years past when I would simply go to a new club every week on nothing more than a whim, and get blown out in numerous “sets”. Your friends will tell you “lets try X spot tonight” or “lets go somewhere new, explore”. To hell with that jazz. If you want consistent results you must be consistent in your venues, your social circles, and your game.

Wait… wtf is a “Promoter”?

If the word “promoter” draws a blank in your mind than you have much to learn about the club scene. Like most self-development geeks who lack structure you might think you are just supposed to get in line, and if you are lucky enough to get into a quality club you just have to “be awesome” and “have fun” and “approach approach approach!”. If you are a PUA you probably think this is the testing ground for your canned material and hoop-jumping to try and hook up with semi-attractive women. This is all well and good if you have low expectations, but like anything, approaching the nightclub with a process in mind will have a gradual and cumulative effect as it scores you more benefits and more lays with higher quality. Lets lay some foundational material…
Promoters are your social hubs, it is their full time job to seek out cool/attractive/wealthy people and bring them in groups to clubs that do business with their organization. They get paid for it. In NYC full-time promoters typically have up to 7 events a week 5 days a week at different venues. In this articles I will show you how to meet these people.
First of all, get it out of your head that the highest value persons in a nightclub are hot women. Wrong…
Men are of the highest value in a club. Men have all the power, they own the house. They are the managers, the bouncers, the owners, and the promoters.
Women are the currency. And clubs are a currency exchange. “You bring your girls, I will bring mine, and we can trade” is your modus operandi when you go to the clubs. If you come to the club broke, you need to put your game skills to work at the venue and bring girls to your circle, introduce them to your promoter, make him feel like a king. In other words you are not “pushing for the close” on every approach, you merely want to introduce them to your social circle. If your circle is appealing enough, they will stay, if you are appealing enough, they will hook up with you. If you find yourself fighting to keep the girls attention, your circle’s center of gravity isn’t strong enough. It should be dense, with your promoter friend in the middle. You should push your way through people to make the introduction. Create a scene where people are meeting people because of you. Why?

The INTRODUCTION

The power of the introduction is immense. Most pickup material is about cold-approach pickup. Even though there is a beauty and art to the cold-approach pickup, it is still the minor league of the dating scene. The introduction is cold-approach’s wiser older brother. Being introduced is much more attractive to a woman than someone introducing himself because it creates instant social proof. Women are social creatures and prefer pre-approved suitors over complete strangers. If you imagine the dating scene as a 10 point system, the introduction will place you 2 points higher in value than a cold-approacher due to familiarity and social proof. In a woman’s mind, a man who cold approaches must be out of options. Be the man with options. This is the reason you see scrawny guys with no game score with 9-10s. Its because they don’t have to “game”.
The reason I scored so easily with my promoter friend is because when you have game in a situation where you need none, you will hookup hand over fist. It isn’t even fair. I receive the introduction, 2-5 minutes of friendly banter, hold hands, dance, kiss, push/pull, pull to apartment. And the beauty of the social circle hookup is that I don’t have to “isolate” like in the cold-approach. I have pre-approval from the group so I can game, grind, make out with my girl in front of all her friends. I can sit down and put her on top of me so she can give me a lap-dance and dry hump me in front of all her friends because we are in a space of maximum comfort. Her friends are not trying to cock-block because social circles love to see people hook up with familiar people, they hate to see their friends hookup with “randos”.

Imagine you are locked in with a girl and her friends see you and ask themselves who you are. There can only be two answers: 1. “I don’t know, some rando” or 2. “oh he’s a friend of so and so.” Now you can imagine why its better to have pre-selection working for you rather than against you. Answer 1 will likely get you cock-blocked. Answer 2 will get the hamster wheels spinning, “who is this person? Should I know him? He’s obviously part of the group so I should know him!” Even if you know no one, act like you do, introduce your promoter  like he’s someone important. My promoter in NYC would introduce me to girls he met only once on a pass-by 15 minutes earlier and I would still pull. You and your promoter are the seeds of a social circle, you just don’t know it yet.

Finding the Promoter

By now you are probably sold but have no idea how to find the promoter. There are ways to get on list’s using websites and social media, searching facebook events, meetup.com, etc. Many promoters target tourists by using facebook/meetup or various tourism websites. But I have no experience with this, maybe you can do some research and report back to me.
I have met promoters organically, from the approach. For example, one night I saw an athletic black guy standing at the bar with a Russian 9 puffing on hookah. I knew he was high status from a mile away. Most “PUAs” would not bother to talk to this man because “I’m not gay I only talk to chicks! I like poosy! He is the competition! I will AMOG and take his gurl! becaus I am teh pickup mAster!!!” This is foolish and not socially calibrated.
I pull up next to the bar to order a drink and make an offhand comment like an indirect pickup: “That smells great what is that mango?” He responds that it is pineapple and that I should try it, so he hands me a plastic hookah thingie and I take a hit, I cough and joke at how inexperienced I am. I make friendly conversation with him and his girl. He is from the midwest like me so we talk about making it in nyc as I joke and do “guy kino” (i.e grab his tricep as you make a point). Within a few minutes he thinks I am cool so we exchange contacts “I am a promoter you should come out and party with me, I promote at the spots with the hottest girls”…Shit… You don’t have to tell me twice.
My first night out with him we came in with a group of around 16 at a club in the Meat Packing District. I believe I was one of 4 other guys. The girls complained that there were too many girls. Yes you heard correctly, women believe it is a problem when there are too many girls. Believe it or not merely having a penis means you are of value to attractive young girls hanging out in a club all by their lonesome. DEMOGRAPHICS are the keyword. You must seek clubs and social circles with an excess of women. He introduced me to a tall blonde FOB Russian that night. I pulled.
So the moral of the story is that you need to stop being so queer and afraid of approaching/talking to high value men, for they are more valuable than a singular hot girl. Look, we all want pussy, we are all out to get it, but building strong alliances is more conducive to that goal than the cold approach. There are already enough game aware-guys running their routines at the bars and clubs in big cities like NYC. Now get your team together and compete at a higher level.

During my game development I tried to figure out which were the optimal “sets” to open. I arrived at the conclusion that “2 sets” and “3 sets (one couple/one single girl)” were the best opportunities to exploit on a night out. I hope after reading this you realize that the best “set” is the “Alpha Male Set”: The stylish great-looking guy with an athletic build who is surrounded by women and seems to know everyone at the club. He is the one you should approach and be friends with. He will introduce you to the girls and give you the social proof you need. But you must offer value as well.

Self Improvement Challenge #1

Find a Promoter. Party with said promoter.

Self Improvement Challenge #2

Introduce 10 girls to your promoter friend in one night.

Self Improvement Challenge #3

Get laid with one of the promoter’s girls.

Self Improvement Challenge #4

Promoter gets laid with one of your girls.

Side Challenges

Pull girls from other tables to yours. The line I settled on for the most success is “I need you guys to make the crossover” after a tap on the shoulder and pointing at your table. Bonus points for carrying the girl to your table.

Side Notes:

1. Not every promoter is socially savvy. Some are only in it for the girls and will not be down with bringing guys along. You see these promoters often by themselves or with a handful of girls that are bored and looking around the room because there are no guys to talk to. My promoter is cool with me coming solo or bringing a friend because he knows I have game. But if you are contacting a promoter through the internet and haven’t demonstrated value yet, you should be bringing at least a girl the first time. Bring a date to demonstrate you are a guy that actually gets girls. Your opening line when contacting a new promoter should be “hey man, going to be out this Saturday with my girl and some of her friends…” regardless of if she is bringing friends or not. Remember that promoters gets paid based on how many girls they bring so this line will flash a few dollar signs in his eyes.

2. Respect the promoter’s business and understand how he gets paid. Don’t scare away girls with overly aggressive and assholish behavior.

3. Bring girls to the venue, don’t be stingy with girls. Especially bring your slutty F-buddies. They are usually more fun. From here you can get a reputation for bringing hot/fun girls and get VIP treatment. (A relative of mine mastered this to the point where he could get any guy tossed, he went to this spot twice a week for an entire summer and got the place completely “on-lock”, as Christian McQueen would say.)

4. Don’t be cheap. People often get turned on by the idea of getting free drinks and get stingy as a result. You should use that unspent cash to tip generously and pitch in for extra bottles (promoters can get extra bottles at cost, pitching in a 20$ or two will keep the party going).

5. Keep trucking in pursuit of your goals. I first started going to clubs after college and didn’t have much success for years despite being tall, dark, and handsome. I was frustrated for years because I didn’t have proper structure guiding me. I spent a whole year sexless in Miami in my early twenties. By 27 I was coaching guys in my local PUA lair in NYC about proper club game. Now at 30 I am completely at ease in any club and I just want to learn new languages and travel.

6. If you don’t have a 9-5 job, meaning, your career doesn’t require you to be up early in the morning and show up wide-eyed, you MUST make connections in the club scene to maximize your pleasure. In NYC I have been to some very exclusive parties (where you absolutely MUST know someone to get in) with ridiculous F-M ratios (70%) that were hosted on weeknights. Unfortunately, I did have a 9-5 so I could only go to a few of them :(.

7. Dress well.

8. Read all of McQueen’s material.

PS: I was putting the finishing touches on this article very recently after having moved to Chicago, a city with a dating market terribly skewed in favor of women. One night I sent my Russian ex packing from the hotel we were staying at in downtown Chicago. I decided to suit up and go out on the town by myself on Hubbard St, a trendy downtown hangout. I focused on this aspect of my game. After an hour hanging out at a popular club I spot a 6′ 4″ very muscular guy with a tan and 4+ girls with him. He has a huge grin on his face as he jokes with the bartender and seems well established. So I tap him on the shoulder and say:

“Dude, I thought you were this player on the Blackhawks for a second then I realized they are playing tonight! You an athlete?”

He laughs and goes, “Actually I’m a personal trainer, but I did play some hockey.”

“Yeah that makes sense, what are you celebrating tonight?”

“Life! I’m a promoter here.”

“Thats sick. I knew a promoter in NYC and got into some awesome parties because of him.”

“Well, I’m your guy here in Chicago, here is my card! Those are my girls over there. Come over, I’ll introduce you.”

Shit, you don’t have to tell me twice…

Bio: NeoBushi has lurked the manosphere for several years and has decided to contribute by starting a blog. Currently he is focused on travel, financial markets, foreign languages, and foreign women. Recently moved to Chicago.

Categories: Game, Pick-Up, Social Life

Paris Trial Run

February 6, 2013 Leave a comment

So this will be my first “official” post as I got off to a rough start. I caught the Lebron James of flu viruses and was out of commission for two weeks. Plus I had to deal with the issue of finding a new apartment in Manhattan, coughing up the absurd amount of money to get the place, and of course moving. Living in a cramped Manhattan apartment helps you grasp the importance of reducing clutter in your life, and the value of E-Books. What the hell am I going to do with all this paper? Anyways…

I want to talk about French girls. They fascinate me. Their style is sexy, their voices are intoxicating, and their faces are the paragon of beauty. I had the pleasure of meeting and hanging out with Mediterranean/European mixed race girls who often descend from North African immigrants. But whether you are into the Germanic, Celtic, or the dark Moorish look, the French have a history of miscegenation and multiculturalism that provides a wonderful variety of fruit to pick.

I tried to draw one but this is the best I could do:

funnykatewinslet

Draw me like one of your French girls.

The French can be a little tough to break, they don’t need to learn English, most don’t, and those that do are downright bad at it. That leaves the onus on you to learn a little bit of the romance language to help your conversations along. Learning even just a few phrases and having good delivery can increase your value tremendously. Having earned fluency in Spanish during my college year abroad in Spain I decided to take up the challenge and earn my flag in France so I bought a ticket for Europe as part of my 3 week long hiatus in the fall. I made the acquaintance of some young Parisians during the summer in NYC so I had somewhere to start.

8 Hours

Some of you may be thinking “Learn French? I ain’t got time for dat bowlsheet!” Fine. You don’t need French to game it up in France, but if you are like me, you want to take every little advantage you can get. 8 Hours is all you need to learn conversational French. So pick up Michel Thomas’s audio crash course, a 2$ copy of “1001 Most useful French words” on Kindle and get started.

Franglish

What if I told you there were events every day in Paris where you can find French girls looking to speak to and develop relations with native English speakers? Welcome to Franglish. They organize events where native English-speakers can meet native French-speakers for a fun uptempo language exchange in trendy bars and lounges. You get 7 minutes in each language with your partner and then switch. Don’t worry if your French is abysmal or non-existent, your partners will want to spit English the entire time anyway, and they are are always willing to help you fill in the blanks. [Also check out events on meetup.com]

The most important thing to take away from these events are not necessarily the dates, but the friends. Here you will build your “entourage”. A bunch of outgoing Frenchies who are enthusiastic to go out and have fun with you. Invite the girls out, invite groups of them out. Be a somewhat selective, girls who have a good level of English and are outgoing, smiling, laughing. I got lucky the first day and met 2 girls in their late-20s with great English for some fun nights out. Reap the rewards of social proof and let it be known that you are a social butterfly and like to flirt. Be honest with your intentions, but take an interest in their lives as well. Social circle principles apply here so you need to make sure you are the alpha male by taking the lead and making sure everyone is having a good time.

Don’t be surprised to meet French guys who are there to meet English women at these events. Share notes, they can be your perfect wingmen. My most valuable contact I made at these events was an American college student earning her Masters in French. When we went out she was more than willing to help along my conversations with Paris’s native knockouts.

At the event you must be cool with the event organizer, the one who assigns seating and greets everyone. Building rapport with this person is essential, because if you spy a hot French girl, you do not want to leave it up to fate whether you sit with her or not: request that you sit at her table! If you are cool with the organizer she will gladly make the arrangement. Depending how cool you are with the organizer the more you can let it be known that you are there for the cuties. My only regret was not demanding to be seated with an HB that was oogling me when I first arrived to an event. When the event ended and I finished up with my partner, she was gone. Learn from my mistake.

Ok now you are a pro at ordering “un cafe” at “le cafe”. Your French still sucks but own it, let it be known you are that foreigner who is trying his ass off to sound good at the language and people will eat it up like a hot crepe. Your technical level of French is not that important for gaming. What is important is your attitude and delivery. When you deliver your opener to that Alizee lookalike you deliver it with a glint in your eye, an enthusiastic rising tone like you are really excited about something: “excuse moi!”. This is important because most native french speakers with no game will bark their words in a descending tone that tires the ear. You need to get her attention, and everything you have ever learned about body language and tone will be even more important. Use gesticulations to great effect.

One night I was out by Oberkampf with the American college student I mentioned earlier, and she told me this : ” I’m going to write about about you in my blog about living in Paris! I’ve known people who have studied French for 3-4 years and I have never met someone so confident speaking to French people!” I took it as a huge complement considering I crammed for only 3 weeks prior to my trip having not learned a word before that. The point I am trying to make is not that I am awesome, the point is people don’t care much about the things you say, mostly how you say it. But this is universal.

Day Game

I am not a seasoned day game pro. I am mostly a night-crawler  But I did find a great spot for insta-dates. Its called Marche des Enfants Rouge. It is an outdoor food market with surrounding restaurants and seating areas. It is nestled in a cozy walkway in Le Marais. Many Parisians don’t even know of this spot. So what you do is walk around the area and ask for directions. “Excuse moi. Savez-vous ou est le marche des enfants rouge?” No matter what the response you ask if they speak English. If she does, you complement her how great her English is, she smiles, then it is game on. You are giving out that excitable doe-eyed tourist vibe, this works because most French girls think they are an ambassador to their country.You invite her to accompany you for some treats and escalate from there. Here is where I had one of my few day-dates when I got some fondle action with an Algerian princess. Turned out religion was important to her. She didn’t believe in eating pork but was fine with smoking two packs a day. w/e … The French are a quirky bunch.

Marche des Enfants Rouge

Night Game

Paris is an international’s city. You will run into people from all over the world at the trendy bars and clubs. There is nothing to be said here besides, be graciously American. Your openers can vary wildly, but your body language and tone are of primary importance. If you are like me, tall 6’2″ and in shape, you will stand out, because French men are some of the scrawniest unhealthy people you will every see. Touch often and push for the close. I sat down with a group of Algerian and Brazilian girls in Germain (25 Rue de Buci) and pussed out by not escalating with the girl that I built comfort with. Its beautiful the way the game immediately knocks you back into line after wavering.

Trial Run

In closing. I spent only one week in Paris, this was the trial run. I didn’t get the flag mainly due to time constraints, but I did get many great interactions with many girls and a handful of veritable hotties. I avoided tourist traps at all costs because I wasn’t interested in meeting tourists. I did not want to run my typical New York game of going caveman in the clubs and hooking up with an intoxicated slut. I wasn’t sure if that would work. I was sure that I didn’t want to take that approach in Paris because I wouldn’t be learning anything new. I am trying to evolve my game into actual romance. I got the ball rolling by establishing rapport with locals so I have people to hang out with on my next trip where I plan on having a much more extended stay. What I have provided here is the kick starter. I will build on this foundation during future trips and hopefully construct a Roosh style didactic method for getting laid in France. Cheers.

Le pic…

Now on to Poland…

Categories: Travel

Why join the Manosphere?

January 6, 2013 Leave a comment

“Choose your friends.”

The internet age has taken that maxim and given it turbo-boosters.

Before the internet we were products of our environment. We had our social circles that were formed based on proximity. If you wanted to talk about surfing and you lived in the Midwest, you just didn’t talk about surfing. You talked about football. Now you can be at any cafe or pub and glance at your smartphone and have the discussions about topics that stimulate you. You can choose to ignore the boneheads and follow the lucid. You can literally choose your friends.

So why join the “Manosphere”?

I have been reading blogs for almost 2 years. In those 2 years I have discovered the joy of self-discovery. Proponents of “Game” and “the Red Pill” have shown me the true nature of female-relations and gender roles. Roosh showed me how to get the girls. Heartiste showed me how to pick them. Rollo Tomassi showed me why this stuff is so important.

The members of the manosphere are ronin.

the-loyal-47-ronin-print

Warriors without a master. There is no lineage or patriarchy. No royalty or gentry. Just a group of individuals with a diverse set of skills that walk the path and know their purpose. They have a sense of generativity; they offer worldly wisdom to just about any stranger that stumbles into the tavern. In the tavern you can decide to be that stranger or make yourself known…

So I decided to stop being a “lurker”. Starting a blog establishes an identity. I wanted people to know who I am and what I stand for. Most importantly, I wanted to offer value.

But I will not give advice. I have been a broker, a trader, and analyst during my years in Finance. But I have enough humility and respect for the profession to not give advice when there are numerous sensei whose experience dwarfs my own. Likewise I will not give advice about women for the same reason.

I simply want to start discussions… about books and current events. I want to offer up new ideas and insights. I will tell tales from the front line, as a youngish man living in New York, the epicenter of extreme feminism and bleeding-heart liberal lunacy. Most importantly, I want to hear from you.

So if you are like me… a wayward ronin. Grab a zabuton, a cup of tea, and share a story.

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